March 27, 2010


Rundown of food. Not feeling talkative. Explanation below. Friday first and then today.

Breakfast...blurry whole wheat English muffin with PB and cocoa powder:Lunch: pan-fried salmon with pasta salad (veggie shells, spinach, mushrooms, cucumber)...Snacks: strawberries and grapes...
and brownies:
Dinner that evening was Chinese take-out from a restaurant Sean and I frequent, Power King. We ordered the usual rice noodles with beef and scrambled egg sauce and deep fried squid tentacles with chilis. We opted to take it to go so we could watch Ponyo at Sean's place. Awesome movie.


Today's eats have been rather off. First meal was at 2pm: instant oatmeal with ground flax, chia seeds, coconut butter and grapes. I ate this in the car, halfway to the mall when my plans were f'd up (family stress). I only finished half of it.

Second meal was two hours later: leftover pasta salad:with four chicken wings:Not organic. My stomach's already starting to rumble, but it was worth it. Washed it down with the remaining cranberry apple ginger juice from Wilde:And that's all. Ho hum.


I've been having a rough times of things lately. My family life is really unstable at the moment. I hate being at home. I like the comfort of my bedroom and I miss my cats like crazy but being at home makes me miserable. There's just one brother I do NOT get along with and I've gone so far as to completely denounce him from my life that when he's around, I'd rather not be. I've just had it with him. I won't go too into detail but he's two years older than me and I spent much of my childhood taking care of him when my parents should have been taking care of me. There is a lot of anger and resentment towards the whole thing but what really gets me now is that 27 years later, he thinks nothing of it. He's done some pretty rotten things to me in the past 18 months and has completely forgotten about all the years I spent taking care of him. It's one of the main reasons I will not have children. Sad, I know, but it's the truth.

So yeah, the more and more I live at home, the more and more I want to move out. This year, that's the deadline I have given myself...the year Sean and I have given each other to move out. This of course, was before I had quit my job and was unemployed for three weeks but I think things will still go according to plan if not a few months late. I just feel miserable sometimes. Like now. I wish I knew how to drive so I could just disappear.

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